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I have migrated to a new xanga.
find me.
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Are you a fool to love me?
I know the hurt that comes with love so I hid my heart from you and locked it up. I opened up my eyes for the first time and I realized how selfish I was being. I have fallen in love and have taken it for granted. I acted out to feel more confident, to hurt you before you hurt me. It was then when I realized how egotistical I was acting. It was pure idiocy. I just didn’t know what to do with you, because you don’t even know what you do to me. You didn’t deserve any of it. You don’t deserve to be hurt. You don’t deserve me and my self-centered acts. I apologize for it all and hope we can have no worries. Have days where everything is so simple and nice. Yea… fine and dandy…
I’m going to try to open up and give you a chance. I'm so scared, scared of you taking it then throwing it all away. But I have to take this chance. I’m going to grow to learn to trust you with my feelings, my heart, and my body. EVERYTHING. Something I was so careful about with everyone. But I’m willing to finally let my guard down and believe it is going to work. How do I know? Because we love each other. For me to get what I really want, it just never happens to me. I realize now how lucky I am to have you in my life. Without you I would have never experienced this wonderful feeling of being in love: Running away, but turning back and not wanting to run anymore. Knowing you can hurt me, but still risking it. Wanting to stop being like this, and hearing everyone say “he’s not worth it” but still knowing myself that it is worth it. Sounding too good to be true. Feeling that I will suffocate without you. Knowing that even though at times a thread may break, a new one forms that binds us closer and keeps us strong. Knowing we can get through anything. Knowing you will never leave me. A feeling I cannot explain, so emotional and powerful. Looking at you and seeing overflowing love, hope, and joy. All of the happy memories we've already shared in the short time we've been together that amazes me and keeps me going. Knowing that in the end we are meant to be together.
In taking this chance I will have to suffer to learn who I am again. But I am still willing to take this opportunity. Why? Because I want to experience love if I were to die tomorrow. I want to live life to the fullest. And if it ends, at least I have experienced it.
the best of both (three, four) worlds?
-_-
can't sleep...
Am I loud and clear, or am I breaking up?Am I still your charm, or am I just bad luck?Are we getting closer, or are we just getting more lost?I'll show you mine if you show me yours firstLet's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worseLet's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own wordsWe live on front porches and swing life away,We get by just fine here on minimum wageIf love is a labor I'll slave till the end,I won't cross these streets until you hold my handI've been here so long, I think that it's time to moveThe winter's so cold, summer's over too soonLet's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees growI've got some friends, some that I hardly knowBut we've had some times, I wouldn't trade for the worldWe chase these days down with talks of the places that we will goWe live on front porches and swing life away,We get by just fine here on minimum wageIf love is a labor I'll slave till the end,I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand.
Swing life away...
I feel like I've been abusing this xanga lately lol. Ranting about all my problems and stuff. So I guess I can actually write what's good in my life and what not this one time.
It's 9:02 p.m right now and feel this odd urge to vent yet not really vent but talk. Many things have changed in the course of one year. As of now I’ve experienced change at its constant ongoing speed. Change is normal and along with its companion, time, change waits for nobody.
Lately, I have seen many friends lose love one's, and it has had me thinking, evaluating my life, and the future for a couple of days now. Life is incredibly short and none of us can just let a day pass without it being lived to the fullest.
I thank God for the life He has blessed me with. My family, yet in some instances may piss the hell out of me and sometimes cannot understand me at times, I still Love them with all my heart and all my being. Without them I could never be where I am today. My family, is my fortress, my pillow on which I lie on for comfort and unconditional love at whatever time I need it.
I thank God for my wonderful friends. Every single one of them, u guys are crazy and I love it. Though we all don't see each other as much anymore, I love u all. I grew up with a few of you and yes things in each of us have changed but I know that things will always stay the same whenever we see each other. And to you all that share a part in my life as a friend thank you. and yes if your reading this you’re my friend. I think..haha
To my best friend Sammy, you are my sister! We've grown close and maybe a little too close for comfort. I’m just kidding. We understand each other sooo well and think alike on almost everything. Thank you for being there for me when most needed (how to avoid my dad haha) and u know ill always be here to return the favor. I know I can always count on you to make me laugh. Your presence just makes me happy and you don’t even have to do anything! Lol I love it and you!
Mr. S T I N K Y, I love you sooooooooo much ... thanks for being there for me. I know we fight a lot but its all good in the end. You’re a special addition to my life that I’ve been looking for and I’m grateful to have someone like you.:]
Life has its ups and downs. But a life's use cannot simply be lived by a standard in hopes for it to go well. Life is suppose to be unexpected and lived up. Expect and embrace the unexpected, because everything can be taken away in less than a second. When you least expect it, expect it lol. Thanks for listening and good night.
<3
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